frustration/could winter be over?

I know, I know - I should quit my bitchin', but I'm just so frustrated lately! I have been in the 170s for THREE MONTHS, which is just wrong. I just cannot seem to get out of them! I was briefly teased by the 160s, but then they were cruelly snatched away from me. And this week, I have remained static yet again. I mean, before Christmas, I lost weight at the rate of 6 lbs./month, and to have it come to this virtual standstill is making me want to tear my hair out. Since before Christmas, I have only lost 5 additional pounds. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhh! Something's really gotta change soon, or I'm afraid I'll lose all hope of losing any more weight.

In happier news, we finally have a sunny, relatively warm day!! That makes me so incredibly happy - it's something we've been desperately needing here. And it's only looking up from here in the forecast. The next couple of days are supposed to be in the 60s! Shut up! It's almost more than I can bear. :) Nick will get some much-needed time in the park, to just run off his energy and have a blast. Could this winter of our discontent finally be on its way out the door? I can only hope...

My Timmy-friend will be here either tonight or tomorrow morning, and I can't wait!

idol-watchers will appreciate this

During tonight's Idol episode, when Danny Noriega came out to sing, Nick asked "Is that a man or a woman?" :)

I am LOVING little David Archuleta! I can see him totally winning this thing, actually. What do you think?

I'm tired, and I'm off to bed. That's all.

my son's steel-trap, slumber-proof brain

So, we have been using this sticker chart to motivate Nick to poop on the potty. After every five poops, he has been getting a prize. Last night, he completed his chart, and we have officially retired it - he's a bona fide, card-carrying potty-pooper! This morning, we took him to the Dollar Tree to pick out a few items for his final prize, and one of his choices was this 5-pack of chocolate lollipops. He was, of course, rather excited about them, and wanted one immediately. I told him "no" and said he could have one later. He kept asking throughout the day, and we said he could have one after his nap. We put him down for his nap at 2:30, and at 5:00 (!), I finally went into his room to wake him up. I softly said his name, and he groggily lifted his head up and immediately said "Now can I have one?" :) It killed me!

In other news, my Dad's visit today was very pleasant. After the Dollar Tree (where I found a cute kitchen towel to fuel my odd obsession), we had a cheap-o lunch courtesy of the Wendy's 99-cent menu (gotta love that!) and proceeded to the commissary for our customary shopping trip. It was really crowded, but we made it through in one piece. After putting Nick down for his nap, I played chess with Dad, and he thoroughly kicked my butt! He's really sneaky-good. And since I'm a beginner still, I basically don't have a chance against him. After Nick woke up and had his lollipop, we went to dinner at Cracker Barrel, after which Dad left for Springfield. Now, we're sitting here listening to the Lawrence Welk show. Well, Brian and I are listening, while Nick runs around in a sugar-rush-induced blur (we had some chocolate cake after dinner).

All-in-all, a lovely day!

grumble

This week, I have had the single largest weight-gain I've had during this whole weight-loss journey, barring the week of Christmas. Plus, something's wrong with our water heater, and I ran out of hot water halfway through my shower. Growl.

deja vu

Well, we're having some more winter weather, so once again, Nick and I are staying home from preschool and the fitness center. His preschool wasn't cancelled, and right now, the roads aren't too bad, but I didn't want to risk it. There's supposed to be more precip moving in, and I wouldn't want to take him to preschool, only to have conditions become really treacherous by the time I have to pick him up at 11:30. So, another boring morning at home it is!

Normally, I don't wish for spring to come, because spring is the gateway to my least favorite season: summer. This winter, however, I wish spring would get here posthaste! I'm really getting sick of being stuck at home and having stuff cancelled!

movie review

I promised I'd tell you what we thought of the four movies we rented:

A Mighty Heart: depressing and pointless; would not recommend
The Queen: interesting perspective, good acting; would recommend
Babes in Toyland (old, live-action musical version): acid-trippy, but sort of fun (but boy is Annette Funicello's singing awful!)
Shrek: funny and heart-warming; three thumbs up!

mini-roadtrip

Today, we decided to pile in the car and sally forth to Osage Beach (about an hour away) for some shopping. We started at Target (also known as "The Wonderland of Joy" or just "Nirvana" for short), where I found two really cute fine-gauge knit tops on clearance, plus a pair of watershoes for Nick. We also enjoyed a treat at Starbucks (manna!). Then, we went to a nearby pet store to let Nick look at the animals, but when we got out of the car, we noticed that the right rear tire was quite low, and saw a piece of metal sticking out of it. This was not good. The best-laid plans of mice and men, eh? But, it turned out OK. We found an automotive repair place very nearby, and they patched the tire up and had us back on the road in short order. The place was very clean and nice, and they really treated us well. They even had couches in the waiting area! Nick enjoyed watching through the window as they raised the car up and lowered it back down. When they were done, we drove off to Steak 'n' Shake for some lunch, but when we got there, we discovered that we had left our backpack at the car place. Grrrrr. So, back we drove. When we drove up, the guy came out with our backpack - more great service! Then, we really did leave the car place for good and went and had our lunch. After that, we went back to the pet store, where Nick had a high time viewing the mice, guinea pigs, birds, fish, etc. I really liked the mice - they were so cute and active, and looked hilarious running in their wheels! It almost made me want one. Almost. Anywho, by the time we left the pet store, we were sort of tired and didn't feel like doing too much more. We drove to the outlet mall there, and I ran into the Children's Place outlet and bought a cute summer shirt for Nick for $2.99, and then we headed on home. And here we are.

I'm looking forward to starting our "normal" week tomorrow. And to more Idol!

the kid is cracking us up!

Brian and Nick were getting ready to go out and run a couple of errands, and Nick announced "Well, I'm all ready to go! I have on my hat and my penis." (And really, what more does one need?)

p.s.

Nick is really milking this "vagina" thing for all he can! This morning, I was discussing my weight-loss with Brian, and he said "Wow! You weigh less than me now." I said "Well, I'm supposed to - I'm a woman!", whereupon Nick said "and you are having a vagina!" :)

i hereby officially...

....surrender any pretense of understanding this whole weight-loss thing. Don't get me wrong - I'm ecstatic at my freakish loss this week, but I just don't get it! There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason - any science at all - to it. Maybe the small amounts of strength-training I've been doing for the past few weeks really have boosted my metabolism. Needless to say, I'm on cloud 9, as I've suddenly jumped into the 160s. Yay! And to celebrate, I will go out to dinner with my husband tonight and eat until I have to undo my pants. :)

happy love day!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. It's not a holiday I care too much about, though I do love the color red, and candy and chocolate are nothing to sneeze at, either. Brian and I exchanged cards, and we're planning to go out to dinner tomorrow night. That's about it, but it's nice.

I'm beside myself, because I finally left the house today, for the first time since Sunday!!!! Never have taking Nick to preschool, going to the fitness center, going grocery-shopping, or renting movies been so exciting. The kiddies had a little V-Day party today in preschool. They got to frost and besprinkle their own cupcakes, and they exchanged Valentines (or, in Nick's case, "Valentimes") and got some candy. So, he's been hopped up on sugar all morning, which might help to explain the incident that I'll tell you about in a moment.

We rented "The Queen" and "A Mighty Heart" for us, and "Shrek" and "Babes in Toyland" (the live-action one) for Nick. I'll let you know what we think!

So, with Nick, there's never a dull moment, and you just never know what's going to spring forth from his mouth. For instance, today whilst he was having his lunch, I innocently began to whistle (quite tunefully!), whereupon he exclaimed "Mom - don't whistle while I'm eating!"

But that's nothing. Because today in the commissary, he pointed to a nearby woman and shouted "Mom! She's a GIRL! She has a va-GI-na!" I'm not pulling your leg. I know it's a cliche, but it really did happen. Luckily, the woman had a well-developed sense of humor, so it was much less mortifying than it might have been. Frankly, I thought it was very funny, but I had to keep the extent of my amusement under wraps. See, the other day, Nick asked me if I had a penis, and I wasn't going to lie, so one thing led to another, and I had to let the word "vagina" out of the bag. Mind you, I never would have taught him this word yet if he hadn't pressed the issue. I took pains to explain to him that we only talk about penises and vaginas at home, and not out in public, but I knew (I just KNEW!) that this knowledge of his would come back to haunt me sooner or later. Turns out, it was sooner!

So far, my V-Day has been much more about vaginas than Valentines. :)

i need to rant!

I am so frustrated and blue! We got lots of ice/sleet yesterday, so there was no playgroup and Nick and I didn't leave the house. One day was boring, but do-able. Well, school was cancelled today, so there was no fitness class this morning (If there's no school, they automatically cancel classes at the fitness center.), and I didn't take Nick to preschool - even if it was still in session (I didn't bother to find out.), the roads here are still terribly treacherous, since it has been way too cold today for any sort of melting. To get out of our 'hood, you have to take an uphill curve, and it's just not worth risking. It's now 5 p.m., and I'm about to go insane. Nick and I have just been sitting in the house for two days, being bored and stir-crazy. And rather than getting anything useful done, I haven't felt like doing anything at all! Today during Nick's nap, I just flopped on my bed and watched TV and read. Well, I just found out that school is cancelled again tomorrow, so again, there will be no fitness class!! And it's supposed to warm up a bit tomorrow, but I still wouldn't risk going anywhere until later in the day, if at all. So, I'm looking at day 3 of being stuck at home. I think I'm going to lose my mind! I feel so down because I don't get to go to my fitness classes, and I doubt I'll lose any weight this week. Yes, I can walk and ellipse here at home, but it doesn't give me near the workout that the classes do. And I need to get groceries and go to the library, and I'm just getting major cabin fever! To get to work, Brian has been hiking up out of our 'hood and getting picked up on the main road that leads to our 'hood by a friend, and today when he walked home, he fell three times because the roads are still just sheets of ice. Sometimes, I really hate these MO winters!!! I just needed to get on here and vent my frustration. I think I'm done. For now.

ice, ice, baby!

Say hello to my new little friend! I have an affinity for gnomes, and I really liked the look of this little guy, so I brought him home from Target, courtesy of a Christmas gift card from my in-laws. I really like his tall, pointy red hat.

So, right now, we're getting some pretty serious ice here in my neck of the woods. It would seem that February is making us pay for the lack of precip in January. Brian went in to work this morning, before it all started, but he was released early and got home around 11. We have a little front-wheel-drive car that we don't trust on the curving downslope into our 'hood, so our faboo friend Mike brought him home and dropped him at the entrance to the 'hood. Brian walked home from that point, and made it back in one piece. Needless to say, we're in for the remainder of the day! And, rather than get anything truly useful done, here I sit, blogging away. Isn't it ironic that on a day like today, when I'm stuck at home and could get all kinds of stuff done, I don't feel like doing a darn thing?

Went to my young niecelets' birthday party yesterday. It was nice to see all the familial peeps, and a good time was had by all. The cake was delish, and I got a big blue frosting rose, which turned my tongue dark blue! It was pretty cool. :) It's always nice to see my brother, and it doesn't happen nearly often enough. I kind of feel like we've drifted apart over the years and don't have the relationship I'd like us to, but hope springs eternal. I feel very strongly about the importance of family ties, and I hope that once we live in Springfield, my brother and I can grow closer and develop a deeper fraternal bond. I also really want our kids to be close and to grow up together. That's something I never had as a child - extended family around me - and I really want it for Nick. Nothing is more important, in my book.

Last night, I went and visited my friend Rebecca and saw her gorgeous new son, Jack Andrew. Stupidly, I forgot my camera! He's truly beautiful, with a head full of dark hair and such well-formed little features. I held him for a long time, during which he never woke up. But, right before I left, they finally got him to wake up long enough to show me his lovely dark eyes. He's a keeper! And so far, his big brother, Cooper, seems to like him. :) They're a great family, and I'm so happy for them. Rebecca's mom is here for a couple of weeks helping out, which I'm sure is a great comfort to Rebecca! It'll be nice when she starts coming to playgroup again and brings the baby - she'll have plenty of baby-holders to give her a break! :)

As per usual when I go to Springfield, I ate like crap and didn't exercise for 3 days, but also as usual, I'm back on it today. That's the key - even if I get off-track for 2 or 3 days, I just have to make sure to get back on the horse, and then I'm fine. I really hope I can at least lose a pound this week - I really need some progress to keep me motivated!

How was YOUR weekend?

good news all around!

Hallelujah! I lost weight this week! :)

Congratulations to my Rebecca-friend (and her Andy-husband), who just gave birth to her second son, Jack. He tipped the scales at 9 lbs., 1 oz., and is 22 inches long. And, he's got quite a lot of dark hair! I can't wait to meet him.

Nothing deep to say today. I have odds and ends to get done about the house, and then we'll be gone over the weekend to Springfield. We're going mainly for our nieces' birthday party, but I'm also getting a haircut and visiting my fave stores. And washing the car (Springfield has a particular car wash that bests anything we have here.). And playing chess with my Daddy.

"See" you next week!

all of a sudden, i'm a little freaked out...

...by how fast my baby is growing up! I mean, there's too much going on all at once. He's totally pooping on the potty now (We've made major progress, seemingly overnight!), we just switched from convertible to booster car seats, he just got a more "grown-up" booster seat for the dining table, he's all into watching movies, etc. And the icing on the cake (no pun intended) is that he will celebrate his 4th birthday in about a month! I almost can't handle it. I just want to slam the brakes on and freeze time right here. Don't get me wrong - I'm looking forward to seeing him grow and develop and do new things, but at the same time, I want him to be my baby forever. It kills me that with every passing day, he's becoming less and less my baby and getting closer and closer to leaving me. I know that sounds melodramatic (or is that mellow and dramatic, Patty?), but if you have kids, surely you can relate. I mean, lately, each time he lavishes me with kisses and hugs, I realize that the day will come when he won't want to kiss me or hug me, or at least not nearly as much. Being a parent is so bittersweet sometimes. I guess I'll just have to make time each day to soak him up and breathe him in and get my fill, before it's too late.

my fave new filling snack

I really like McDonald's fruit & yogurt parfait, and wanted to come up with something similar at home, and I did! If you put 1/2 cup Dannon Light & Fit vanilla yogurt and 1/2 cup frozen or fresh mixed berries in a bowl and sprinkle it with 1/8 cup Kashi Go Lean cereal, you've got a healthy, substantial, delicious snack for under 100 calories!! Try it...you'll like it.

the big downside of military life

I'm totally bummed, because today I found out that my friend Mike will be leaving in six months to move to Ft. Hood, TX. :( I mean, I knew that he'd have to leave eventually, but I didn't think it would be this soon! It's just so depressing - you meet someone zesty and befriend them, and then they leave. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it to reach out to people and make friends. But, in the end, I realize that it most certainly is. I hope that Mike will stay in touch with us and our friendship will continue from afar. That's just not the same as hanging out together! He's going to come over this evening to hang out, watch the Superbowl, play chess, and have chili and margaritas, which should be fun! I guess I'll just have to make the most of the next 6 months and enjoy the time I get to spend with him. He will definitely be missed...

the fierce bargain-huntress strikes again!

After yesterday's events, I decided that some retail therapy was in order today, so off I went to Rolla, the "big town" up the interstate that has a KMart (ooh!) and a JCPenney (aah!), among other useful stores. First off, I found birthday gifts for my niecelets at Rolla Books & Toys, which always has neat stuff you can't find everywhere else. Also, they offer free gift-wrapping! No real bargains per se, but I got them zesty stuff. Then, the real bargain-hunting began. I got Nick some jeans for $3.50 at KMart, but the real treasure was to be found at JCP. I found myself two new bras that would have retailed for $56 altogether. They became mine, however, for the low-low total of $21.50. But now for the piece de resistance: I found Nick a REALLY nice nylon puffy parka in a bright red color. This thing is really poofy and thick and warm, and has a scrumptious fleece lining with a nice high collar. It's got all kinds of zippers, velcro, adjustable straps, bells, and whistles, and a detachable hood. I bought large, so that he'll be able to wear it for at least the next couple of years. It was originally $80 - that's how nice it is. But how much did I pay for it, you ask?

$8.50!!!

That's what I'm talkin' about. I'll be riding this high for several days at the least. :)

update

First of all - thank you, Patty and Christie! I love you guys.

I'm feeling a bit better now. When Brian got home from work, I sort of fell apart all over him and cried and emoted and blubbered, and he was very sweet and understanding. Then, I declared that I didn't care about my diet today and I wanted Domino's pizza, Coke, and a cheese danish. :) This might not be exactly the "nice thing for myself" that Patty had in mind, but it seems to be what I needed today, however ill-advised. I was also helped by the fact that my Timmy-friend finally called me after a too-long hiatus, and we had good, juicy talkies. He gave me some lovin' and agreed that as destructive as it seems, eating some "forbidden" foods for one night might be just what the doctor ordered. So, off my dear husband went to get the much-coveted foodstuffs, and I am now full of tummy and calmer of mind. I do feel somewhat guilty for eating that stuff, but I also feel like "to heck with it! I wanted those things tonight, and that's what I needed to feel better, and that's that!" :) I will definitely resume eating well and exercising tomorrow, and see what happens this week with the weight-loss.

Also, Nick just pooped on the potty for the third time! And this time, there was minimal trauma. Progress!

I think I needed a pity party today, but I'm snapping out of it...

sick and tired/bad day

Well, I've had a bad day, and I'm really feeling downtrodden and ready to give up. The main thing is that I didn't lose an ounce this week. It really shocked me, because I have really busted my ass this week, going to different classes, working out almost every day for an hour...I have sweated buckets this week, and I'm sore all over my whole body. Plus, I ate like an angel all week. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing. I'm starting to wonder what's the point. I mean, why should I work so hard and deny myself the joy of eating what I want, when it's all for naught? If this is what it would take to just maintain my current weight, then I'm totally screwed. I don't really know what more I can do at this point. I'm just so tired. I need the cosmos to throw me a bone here. I have absolutely no motivation to continue as of this moment.

Secondly, Brian got his car stuck in our neighborhood this morning, after sliding down a hill. That mostly sucks for him, but it sucks for me by association.

Thirdly, I clogged the toilet this morning. Badly. Now, I know this may be TMI, but it's just another brushstroke in the complete painting of my day, to help you get the picture.

Fourthly, when Nick and I were playing outside in the snow, he informed me that he had to pee. He had just peed before we went outside! He was already covered in snow and soaked, so I didn't think we had time to get him inside and get everything off. So, I told him I would just pull his pants down a little and he could pee in the snow - one of the main plusses of being a boy! Well, for some reason, this idea totally freaked him out, and he refused to let me do it. So, he then proceeded to pee, A LOT, in his pants. I mean, you could see the steam rising from his crotch, and the pee soaked his pants and started pouring from his jeans. It was disgusting. When I finally got him inside and undressed, amidst amazing amounts of caterwauling, I discovered that one of his socks was soaked because the pee had totally run down into his brand new snowboot. Now, how the hell am I supposed to clean the pee and/or the smell out of the inside of a snowboot? I don't see any way to do that.

Fifthly, Nick was crying so much and I was so frustrated and already upset about the other stuff that I ended up totally losing it with him and overreacting and yelling at him, and I feel like a total failure as a mother and a human being. I could see the fear and shock in his eyes as I yelled at him, and I've probably scarred him for life.

I don't know what my problem is today. I'm just feeling like a failure - like an unhappy, fat, bad mom. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Sorry if I've brought you down...