slowly emerging...

OK - the plot thickened considerably with my illness, but thank God, it finally seems to be thinning out, and I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a lot more serious than I could have known. I guess there's nothing to do but start where I left off...

So, Tuesday, I continued to feel really crappy. I ended up spending most of the day in bed and felt very tired and weak. My swallowing pain continued to worsen, and the lymph node seemed to get even bigger. Luckily, Brian was able to take Nick to preschool before work in the morning, and was then able to pick him up and bring him home on his lunch break, so I could just stay home and in bed. I continued to have a headache, and to have a fever on-and-off, and alternated between being cold and feeling like I was having hot flashes. If you're wondering why I didn't seek medical attention Tuesday, I guess I don't have a really great answer for that. For one thing, our ER is useless, as you're going to spend at least 5 hours waiting there. And for whatever reason, I just kept thinking I had a virus (even though my throat hurt, it didn't hurt badly enough, at this point, to make me think of strep), so there was no point in going to the doctor. I just figured I'd rest and sleep, and it would take care of itself. Stupid! I ended up having a milk shake for dinner Tuesday, as eating solid food had lost its appeal at that point. One thing that really sucks about me is that I never lose my appetite when I'm sick. So, all this time, I've had to eat, and it's been excruciating! Every swallow is torture. I had a pretty crappy night Tuesday night - I slept OK, but sweated a lot and woke up a few times.

Things really came to a head Wednesday morning. I woke up and my throat pain had worsened; the lymph node was still just as big. At this point, I started thinking maybe I had strep, and I figured I'd call for an appointment as soon as I got out of the shower. About halfway through my shower, I was suddenly overcome with an indescribably terrible feeling, and came *THIS CLOSE* to passing out. I simply could not remain in an upright position any longer. I didn't actually black out, but I ended up collapsing, lying in the tub with the water streaming over me, crying and calling for Brian. Since he was across the house and the door to the bedroom was shut, it took quite a while for him to finally hear me, and I was pretty upset by the time he got in there. All I can say is thank God he didn't go in to work early Wednesday, as is his usual custom. He didn't have to be in until 9, and had decided to stay home until 8:30. If he hadn't been here when that happened, I don't know what I would have done. He helped me out of the tub, and without even drying off, I just collapsed on the bed. I stayed there for awhile, until I had a bit more strength. Going to the ER was still a bad option, as I mentioned before. Getting an "acute care" appointment still seemed the way to go. So, I called the hospital and was given authorization to go to the local off-post St. John's clinic. I called the clinic and was told to come as soon as I could, and they would fit me in. In the meantime, my dear husband called work and explained what was going on so that he wouldn't have to go in.

I got to the clinic and only had to wait about 45 minutes, which is a lot better than the ER. The doctor who saw me seemed very nice and competent, and she also seemed pretty alarmed. They did a rapid strep test, which only tests for strep A, and that was negative. But, there are several strains of strep. The doctor told me that she thought I had a peri-tonsular abscess, which is pretty serious and beyond the scope of that clinic. She thought that my huge lymph node was, in fact, an abscess (basically, a pocket full of infected pus). She explained that these can grow very quickly and can obstruct breathing and become quite serious, and that it would probably have to be drained in addition to being treated with antibiotics. Well, I certainly didn't see all of that coming! She sent me directly to an ENT in a clinic 20 miles up the interstate. So, off I went to the clinic. After waiting for 2 hours in the waiting room and feeling ever-crappier, I finally saw the ENT, and I think it was worth the wait. In fact, I shudder to think of what might have happened if I hadn't seen an ENT, or had seen someone less experienced.

She, too, seemed quite alarmed as I described my progression of symptoms and mentioned almost passing out and being unable to stand up. She looked in my throat and said she was sure that I had some strain of strep - they did a complete strep culture, the results of which I won't know until next week. She then determined that I have a very serious, very nasty infection on my tonsil, which was heading for an abscess, but wasn't quite there yet. She said that had I not sought treatment that day, I could very well have been dead the next. She explained that she was 100% sure that if left untreated, my infection would have led to an abscess within 24 hours, and that a peri-tonsular abscess can very easily be fatal if not caught soon enough. The abscess can drain into the body, leading to sepsis and death. She actually told me that she has seen people die from this. You can imagine how I was feeling listening to all of this. She was very serious and told me that I was a lot sicker than I even realized. Wow. Even though the doctor in the first clinic had been wrong in thinking I had an abscess at that point, she had possibly saved my life by sending me directly to the ENT, who knew the potential risks of my condition and knew the right kind and strength of antibiotics to use.

The ENT explained that she was going to give me two shots (one in each hip) of two very strong antibiotics, followed by a 10-day course of very strong oral antibiotics. She said that she hoped we had caught this in time and would stop it from abscessing, but cautioned that she could not guarantee that it wouldn't still progress to an abscess, even with the antibiotics. Apparently, it was THAT close to being an abscess. OMG. She gave me a list of symptoms to watch for, which would prompt a call to her, no matter what time of day or night, and a free pass to the ER. Needless to say, I was not having a good day, and this was all very scary and sobering. To add insult to injury, she pointed out that these extremely strong antibiotics could cause a yeast infection (sorry, guys) and/or really bad diarrhea. Yay! She told me to also call her if I developed bloody diarrhea. This just kept getting better! Then, in came the nurse with the injections. And boy, did they hurt! Not the needles themselves, but the drugs entering the muscle. And even now, over 24 hours later, those areas are still very painful.

Luckily, Brian was able to get all day off yesterday, in addition to today and tomorrow, when he explained to his superiors how sick I was. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him during the past couple of days. He's been awesome. He said there was no way he was going to work. The worst thing about yesterday, to me, was that I had to miss Nick's end-of-year preschool program, which just about broke my heart. The kids had been learning these songs and working on them so hard, and it just killed me to miss it. Also, I missed having the chance to thank and say goodbye to his teachers. But, Brian took Nick to the program, and took the gifts I had prepared for the teachers. He also got some video and photos, which won't be the same, but it's better than nothing. I also had to bow out of teaching my sculpt class last night, and it's killing me that so many days have gone by without working out. I hate the thought of backsliding at all. Another big disappointment has been missing the final MOPS meeting of the school year this morning. It was a spa day, with manicures and massages, and yummy food, of course. And most importantly, it was possibly my last chance to see the three MOPS ladies who are moving away this summer. :( But, I was still way too weak to even consider going. I did get to talk to our coordinator, Leigh Ann, yesterday, and she was so kind and caring, and prayed for me, which really meant a lot and cheered me up. If you're reading this, Leigh Ann, thank you!

Apparently, the ENT wasn't kidding when she said that this is a very strong, nasty infection. I don't have a lot of personal experience with illness, infections, or antibiotics (the last time I needed them was 4 years ago), but I know that usually, antibiotics work very quickly and cause a marked improvement within 12-24 hours of starting them. And I figured that since I had been given not one, but TWO, very strong antibiotic shots, I could hope to start feeling better within a few hours. Well, I was wrong. I got the shots around noon, and by 7 p.m., I was running a fever again and feeling very faint and dizzy every time I tried to get up. And my throat pain with swallowing had WORSENED. Every bite I take, even today, is hell. I know this sounds over-the-top, but well, it's all true! At one point, we became somewhat concerned, because my ear was starting to hurt (one of those symptoms she had said to watch for), so Brian called the doctor. She had him look in my throat and asked a lot of questions, and she didn't think I was in danger. I went to bed last night and sweated so much that the sheets were soaked this morning. Ewww.

Today, my throat pain is still no better, and my hips are still quite sore, but I'm feeling more myself. I have even laughed a couple of times! I'm still very weak, but haven't felt like I would pass out. I took a shower, and apparently, standing for even that long was too much, because afterwards, I had to lie down for a while - I simply could not stand any more. That's pretty sobering. I mean, that must be one doozy of an infection, ya know? But, I feel like I'm finally turning the corner, and I'm sure that the risk of an abscess is gone now. The lymph node finally feels a little smaller, and now I'm just praying that my throat pain lessens soon. I'm going to stay home for the rest of the day and probably spend more time in bed, and see how I feel tomorrow.

I know this has been INCREDIBLY long and possibly quite boring and too detailed. Sorry! :) At least you know the full story, though...