Monday, June 23, 2008

vpl vs. perpetual wedgie

Let's talk about thong underwear for just a moment, shall we? I have always been anti-thong, professing that they're hideously uncomfortable and that I am just not interested in having a scrap of fabric wedged in my butt crack for any length of time. I think I might have tried a thong once, in college, and didn't like it. In the intervening years, it would seem that visible panty lines have truly become public enemy number one, and everyone who's anyone is wearing thongs. I personally know people who would never dream of wearing anything else. Also, lately, as I look around me in fitness class (where the women tend to have on tight-fitting workout shorts), I have noticed that I'm the only one with VPL. (Side note: No, I'm not a lesbian. It's just that there are some really nice asses in fitness class, and I can't help looking at them because I wish mine looked like that!) Now, here's what I'm confused about: What's the big deal with VPL? Everyone wears underwear (Well, sure, there are some who go commando, but they're a small percentage of the populace.), and everyone knows that everyone wears underwear. So, why is it such a big deal if people can see the outline of your panties through your pants? I mean, women always have visible bra lines, and that's no big deal, so why are panties so different?

The upshot of all of this is that I recently decided that since it had been so long since I'd actually tried wearing a thong, maybe I should see what all the fuss is about and give it another try. I mean, the people I know who wear them profess that they're just SO comfortable, and they would never go back to (gasp!) regular undies. So, yesterday at WalMart, I picked up a cheapo 3-pack of thongs. And today, I wore one when I took Nick to playgroup and ran a couple of errands. And here's my verdict: thongs ARE hideously uncomfortable, and I'm just NOT interested in having a scrap of fabric wedged in my butt crack for any length of time! It was horrid. The whole time I was wearing it, I was aware of it and was really uncomfortable. I kept feeling like I needed to pull my underwear out of my crack. I would momentarily forget that I was wearing a thong and would attempt to grab my underwear through my shorts and adjust them, but all I would grab was skin, and I would realize that Oh! I can't pull my underwear out of my crack, because they're permanently lodged there! Who wants to go around feeling like they have a consta-wedgie? People claim that you get used to it, and you eventually can't even feel it, but personally, I'm not interested in making it through the adjustment period. I don't believe that there's any need for me to suffer through even one day of wearing a thong, when there is so much comfy underwear out there for me to choose from. I just don't get it! The minute I got home, I shimmied out of those things as fast as I could and breathed a delicious sigh of relief as I unwedged myself. I promptly threw all 3 thongs into the nearest waste basket, and now, I'm comfortably ensconced in my plain ol' panties, and lovin' every minute of it!

So how about you? Thongs: yea or nay? See my poll on the sidebar, and weigh in...

2 comments:

Patty O. said...

Your post totally cracked me up (no pun intended). Not only was it funny, but you voiced, almost verbatim, my arguments against the thong. I have often wondered why VPL is such a sin. Like you said, underwear is pretty omnipresent--why all the embarrassment all of a sudden. I too will never go the thong route. I hate wedgies so much that I cannot fathom purposely giving myself one. I'd prefer to be comfortable!

Anonymous said...

Dude, i totally agree!
I know we have had this conversation. I have decided that thongs should only be worn if they are within 5 minutes of being taken off.. haha
<3