2010: the year of the big change

No, not menopause. At least, I think the odds of me entering menopause this year are pretty slim. But, if I do, I'll be sure to let you know. :)

No, the big change I'm talking about is that this summer, we will have the biggest upheaval in our lives since Nick arrived. Brian will retire from the Army, he will seek employment in the "civilian world", and we'll buy a house in Springfield. One caveat: if Brian can't find a good job in Springfield, our back-up plan would be for him to seek a government job on post and we would stay in this area a while longer. If that happened, I'm not sure if we would stay in our rental home or buy a house. But, let's just assume that Brian finds a good job and we're able to move to Springfield and buy a house: OH MY GOD. The concept blows my mind on many levels. On the one hand, it's exciting - I'm looking forward to living in Springfield with my family and best friend, and to the many opportunities that the town has to offer. And the thought of owning a home is exciting, too. I'm also excited at the thought of finally living somewhere where virtually everyone I meet does not end up moving away - it gets pretty demoralizing after awhile to make friends who always leave. I mean, I have an address book full of friends, but that's not enough, you know? I love all my far-flung friends, but I need peeps who are actually in the same locale as me. I'm looking forward to having more singing opportunities and more opportunities to further my education, should I decide to do so. I'm also pumped about having a Borders, a Target, and a mall! :)

But, even though this huge change is exciting on many levels, it's also terrifying on just about as many levels. Here, in no particular order, are the ways in which I'm feeling trepidatious about all this:

* I'm going to miss my gym! I seriously doubt that I will find a gym in Springfield that offers such a variety of classes for such a low price. Seriously! Just leaving behind Adrianne's kickboxing class alone makes me feel like I'm going to hyperventilate. I'm also going to miss teaching there, and the students and other instructors that I've come to know and love.

*I'm going to really miss shopping at the commissary - the prices on some things, like milk, are so low that they would knock the socks off of you civilians. For instance, a gallon of skim milk runs about $1.80 there right now.

*I'm going to miss my beloved gyn, Mrs. Hooper. I've been seeing her for 10 years now, minus the year and half we spent in IL, and I love her! We've developed a repoire that it will be very difficult for me to find again. And having a doctor who is not only female but also "gets" me is incredibly important to me. On a lesser level, I also really love my dermatologist here, and will miss him, as well.

*I will miss the incredibly accessible and inexpensive childcare we have here for Nick. I can call anytime and arrange for him to go to the Child Development Center on post for $3.50 an hour, including meals.

*I will miss being closer to St. Louis. When we live in Springfield, we'll be enough further away from it that we'll probably feel much less likely to take jaunts in that direction.

*I'll miss having totally free health care, lab work, and prescriptions. Duh.

*I'll miss my friends here.

*I'll miss Brian's job security. Mind you, I have no doubts about his employability and value as an employee, but let's face it: it could be hard for him to find a job, and even if he finds one, he could always get laid off later. In the Army, that just doesn't happen unless you do something really, really bad.

*I'll miss only paying income tax on part of Brian's pay, and getting a housing allowance.

*Previously, I said that the idea of buying a house is exciting. It's also HORRIFYING! You have to understand that I HATE moving. So, the idea here would be for us to buy our terminal home. That's no pressure or anything. Let's find a home that we'll enjoy living in for the rest of our lives, and that we won't regret later for one reason or another, and while we're at it, let's find all of that in our price range. Eeeeeek! Scares the crap out of me. Not to mention the financial scariness of being homeowners and having to pay for everything ourselves.

*And, believe it or not, on some levels, I'm actually going to miss small-town life. I know, I know! There are some things about it that I hate. But, since I've lived in small towns for the past 10 years, it has kind of grown on me. I like that there's no traffic and that I can get anywhere I need to go in 10-15 minutes, tops. I like how close together everything is - if it's not on one main drag, it's probably on the other. I like the lack of crowds. I gotta admit that when I drive in Springfield these days, it makes me crazy! I know I'll get used to the traffic there once we've lived there for awhile, but right now, I'm just wondering if I'll end up being OK with it. And yeah, there are a lot of neat things to do, but there are also a lot of people doing them. You sort of have to accept the bad with the good, I know.

Now, in summary, I would like to point out that despite all of these "negatives" that I've listed, I still feel like we're doing the right thing. It's just that I've got mixed emotions about it, and I need to sort through them and deal with them. I am excited about living in Springfield again, and I know that we're going to love it. But, it's hard to see an entire way of life come to an end, and to leave the "safety net" of the military. It's something we have to do, though, and I can only hope that things will work out well and that Brian will find a great job and we'll find a great house to buy. Please wish us luck and keep us in your prayers as we face these big changes. I'll keep you posted!...